1. |
Suffer Debt
04:05
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Felt regret more than anything, got a suffer debt hanging over me
I want to breathe slow with lungs like time forgot
but the ache, it knows, and it pokes the back of my throat
So I hold on, just like frayed ends
just like a dropped call, cutting in then out
just like all the time we lost
can’t keep my eyes off the trash
that lines roads I take to work
and I want to grow like a mother’s love
but the light won’t show gentle repose
So I hold on, just like frayed ends
just like a frail porch so close to giving in
and I hold on, feels like a drain spin
I’ve got a lot of those still waiting
Running off, it’s been contemplated many times
sometimes it feels so bad I can’t even express myself,
I don’t even know where to start.
pulled in all directions in a senseless overflow
Everytime, it really wants to slit my future wide
gets hard to nullify. Exactly what it wants from me, exactly
where it hides: if I figure it out, will it go? I do not know
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2. |
Uh Oh
02:41
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The heart doesn’t swell on request, just tightens its grip some
better off dead is quite the thought, hope it escapes me
uh oh I lost, something stole my dreams
caught in a hell that empties out into my room
each day attempt to plead that little songs
can outpace the pains that chase us all
lives like a sprinkler dancing in the rain
obtuse efficiencies are killing us
oh it cuts like a knife but at least I’ve shed all my delusions
but it’s tough to survive when almost everything is bruised
extant but fallow, so much cost unseen
tonight I might just practice a spell, breaking every single rule
only free to seethe, and do a lot
lets the grind tear me apart
at least skin will show I played the game
and only a bitter end will wake us up
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3. |
Blue Eternal
01:57
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Found you again, whispered a world so estranged
I’m unsure how it was conjured
held in the wave of some vibration:
a trace of our trial stuck in its cycle
should I chase it down? tend to the distant monument
doesn’t really matter now, origins already distilled
the past could disjoin from its place
at this point would you keep the threads
or weave them over again?
to placate the voice there is always a choice
to bathe within a thought’s reflective whim
or just drown
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4. |
77x
03:33
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Desperate to find quiet moments but the din, it claws
If only words would stick to my lips and the taste could answer
Face down, beyond a shroud truth gets lost
It comes back so dark, in a past life told myself a good lie
Greater functions far from reaching what I’m dreaming of
like the larvae swim complacent, I see no after
Sick sound, all around, heard enough.
it fades out so harsh In a fast life, couldn’t slow down if I tried
Like rain, hung on gray, it’s always rushing to the holes within me
The days have quickened their pace seven, seven, several
gone so swiftly, hopeless as a flood
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5. |
Clover
02:13
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life is such a great gift, made good use of squandering it
if I could have been anything I guess I chose stuck
in a place where giving up allays
If I wane, there is such a tiny sliver
so much less that is expected
I can show up to my own life but I don’t have to be present
picking clover from skull bed kneeling down in all the patches
I will wake up every morning feeling less
like there’s a body I’m inside of and more like
the teeming quickness that exists between the time when
It is dark and it is light has become all i’ll ever be
with no reprieve
shallow heat covers me
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6. |
Exit Cycle
04:47
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lost the day to two-dozen hours, deposed
death’s temptation is running wild below
hopelessness always will serve itself
turn a blind eye
i can’t shake it, how surely it states its case and undoes mine
every time
it’s all too often unfulfilling, baleful outlook long instilling
exit cycles come back again. if i'm not careful i won’t run
so just carry me out to the sky, I need the sunlight
under a harsh lens even your face looks so unkind
hopelessness asserts itself, not the last time
still can’t shake it, how surely it states its case
and undoes mine
what could I see? where could i go? i go
its like I know nothing else
i just want something else
if i could climb out and break free,
I would open doors, and let all this off, let go
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7. |
Siphon
02:18
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Laugh through sutures, oh to feel them pull apart
shameless outpour, en masse, of everything you do to me
like anything I consume, your taste dissolves in my mouth
a siphon hungering to fill itself somehow
wilted my heart instead
Sunlit droplets will never see why
they make no reservoir at all in any place they try
playful glistens streaked across the ground
all at once they reach too far, too bright
then they dry up so fast
I felt my sprawl, uncanny, brush against your sharp edge
no mistaking my life for anything but pliant
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8. |
Dancing Around My Tongue
04:29
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Wearing through slowly like the nooks in rocks that try to hide
tucked away with tender life
if we lurk the tide will come and fill our mouths
spit on the ground
because the words they sting dancing around my tongue
try to hold the pace of dancing around our love
I guess we knew how it would all play out
we should meet up there
because the words they sting dancing around my tongue
can’t quite hold the pace when dancing around is no fun
all the words we say are all the ones that stall
the onset of ill fate, can’t get around that disparate place
I know you tried to console, might have saved my life
I couldn't, who knew I was rotting from the inside out?
tired angels watch us and sigh
it's much better now, with room to breathe we can talk about it
i'm glad we arrived
at a joy, distinct felt across every song
grateful for the way they’ve shown us where we belong
all the words we’ll sing, are all the ones we solved
arranged in a new shape, dancing around this better place
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9. |
the chase
00:51
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10. |
Running From the Chase
03:07
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first born and the only one to date,
the only thing they made work
I’m told you can see them in my face,
in my blood there’s a quilt of our lives
the false son puts a lot upon her plate,
agonizing her worth
of course it was always gonna break
dig through shards, so much left to divine
every change splits me through and I can't control how wide
all this stress enervates, I don’t know how long that I
can contend with the chase, but with nothing else in mind
I push on with little celebration, blessed with such a curse to fight it
a strong love, never questioned if they gave
but expressions seemed to diverge
im sure i am echoing the same
quick to glean unintended advice
I am scared we will end up like his friend
work until he’s dead
work until we’re dead
is there any other plan?
fell down off the ladder as he clutched his chest
it's one story, one need
still carried, shooting right through me
I hope I shape it into something sweet
to nourish one right in front of me
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11. |
Break the Stones
03:10
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Gone missing for days and you know it’s hard
to feel nothing, so graceful, when nothing’s wrong.
I will stumble, headlong, into delusive folds
of memories, not quite had, so far from where they formed.
There it finds me, no one else can, builds us a home.
Please break the stones:
so I can see what the sediment of sentiment weighs.
so we can fly, or fight for this overthought,
failing communion.
It owns me like christ owns mercy
and I am tied down to it
just like all the things that wear me out.
Please fake your moans so we can finally
fuck, get this over with: joyless validation.
I wish I could go to when we first touched
the stones. I would file them down to something
we could hold.
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12. |
Is This Working?
05:41
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this time i think no one wants to hear those thoughts or prayers anymore
thank god there’s hope that maybe less are expecting this to stop without a glance
we don’t even notice what we walk by
our pace is still our biggest disgrace
is this working? are you working hard? is it working for you?
so how to proceed? I am most of the time at a loss
I should tell myself anything uplifting
as far as paradigms are inclined they can be beaten
into whatever change is needed
it is needed
each day: wake, worry, watch
think of all the crimes that live embedded in the
day to day, doesn’t it make you mad?
a course correct is hard to stoke with sharp deceit so close to us
we’ll all live on as points within troubling comparisons
insist trials in error were canceled before, but call and pay for it
is there still a blossom yearning to return to form and carve a path again?
how I’ve wept, tired of waking up in a trance like both halves contort in me
so is this really working? for you, for me, for them, for anyone?
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